


Radio Silence

by andonlythinkofme



Category: Walking Dead, Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andonlythinkofme/pseuds/andonlythinkofme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A different take on the season 2 finale in which Carol is able to say her final goodbyes to Sophia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Radio Silence

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, the group is able to stay on the Greene's farm after the events of the season 2 finale.

A nimble finger flicked the power switch of the little radio box back and forth. Carol did it without a thought, her hand moving on autopilot. She sat alone before the plastic table in the Winnebago. Carol wished that something would come out of the speakers, a chord, a voice, something. This silence, even though she’d had months to get used to it, was unpleasant. She tried not to think about that. The little snap of the switch hitting one side than the other kept her grounded enough. It distracted her from the voices outside. The group talking about supplies and locations, about winter coming soon and where shelter would be available. Carol didn’t want to think about leaving, couldn’t stomach the thought of leaving the Greene farm, leaving the little plot of dirt which held her little girl’s remains. It was easier to just flip the radio switch, on off on off. 

The door of the Winnebago creaked open. Lori slowly made her way into the vehicle. Carol spared her a brief glance then it returned to the little box. Lori walked fully into the living area. She debated whether or not to sit on the bench across from Carol or to go to the back where the bedroom was located. She wavered briefly, than seated herself on the very edge of the opposite bench to Carol, her legs stuck out into the walkway, as if she thought an easy escape route would be needed. 

“We’re heading out soon,” Lori spoke slowly, enunciating every word. Her brown eyes watched Carol’s movements, yet she did not do anything to break Carol’s trance. They sat together in silence. Carol thinking nothing at all, Lori trying to give comfort as best she can by being there. Carol snapped the switch in one more set, on off. She left it off. 

“I’m going out for a second.” her voice sounded harsh from being silent for so long. Lori jumped, her head bobbing up quickly to look at her friend. 

“I’ll come with you!” Lori stood up when Carol did, as if to follow her. As if Carol was a little doll that needed to be kept nice and safe. A spark of anger pierced Carol’s gut. She was sad, devastated by her loss. But Carol was not a child. She did not want to be babied, especially when she could not baby her girl ever again. She felt all this strongly, but could say nothing. How could she expect Lori to understand when she had Carl and another child on the way? Friend or not, Carol felt closed off from the expecting mother. 

“No, stay here, I’m just going for a second.” Carol tried to smile, but she was afraid that it didn’t come off quite right judging by the look Lori was giving her, like she wasn’t convinced of anything but was afraid that her friend would break if pushed further. Hating that look in her eyes, Carol turned away quickly and exited the Winnebago. 

Fresh air was a relief from the stillness of the camper. Carol hadn’t realized how stale everything in there was and she took a second to breath, closing her eyes to savor the crisp evening air. Soon they’d be far away from, despite recent events, tranquil lands. She avoided the gathering of men at the center of camp discussing the group’s next move. She just turned to the small area of the Greene farm that held the bodies of the people that had been lost. The small area that cradled her baby. Carol had tunnel vision as she walked. This was probably the last time she would be on the Greene farm. The soft thud of her feet on the dirt was like the click of the radio’s power switch. It was steady and constant and gave her mind something to think on. Sooner than she expected her feet stopped before the grave. On a little wooden cross buried into the ground the name Sophia was written in black sharpie. 

She crouched down so that she could place her hands on the soft dirt. Her heart, a little menacing thing she prayed would simply go away, ached. That thing hobbling out of the barn days ago was not her daughter. No, Carol’s daughter was sunlight. Carol’s daughter was young and sweet, a girl with beautiful blue eyes that crinkled around the edges when she smiled, a girl that could spend hours talking about the way a ladybug walked across a leaf or how a flock of geese waddled around a pond. Sophia was the ball of light in Carol’s life. Through Ed and the Walkers, through all the death that she’d witnessed, Carol had been able to turn around and look at her daughter. Now all she could do is look at a grave. 

“We’re gonna be goin’ soon, “a gravelly voice floated to her. Carol didn’t get up, she had gotten used to Daryl’s way of just appearing, he’s years as a hunter giving him the ability to move like a ghost through his surroundings. Whenever Daryl came to Carol like this it almost seemed as if he wanted to protect her. If Carol wasn’t so lost herself, she might reach out to him, maybe comfort him, but the wound is still raw. The half of her heart that Sophia carried had died when her daughter, no, the walker, had come out of the barn. The wound hadn’t scabbed over yet and Carol feared that she would walk around forever half bleeding out. 

“I’ll be there in a second.” Carol bent her head down and said a silent prayer. When she finally got back onto her feet, she turned to see that Daryl was still behind her waiting. He gave her a small shrug before stomping off back to the cars, Carol trailing behind him. 

“Okay, we get the rest of this packed up here. Get the cars all ready, check gas then we leave.” Rick tossed out his orders to the members of the group. Daryl and Carol joined the small circle at the end of his statement. Soon as he was finished they all broke apart to take down tents and load up the cars with all the supplies. Carol went with Maggie to the Winnebago to clear out all the food. With Dale gone, the group had decided the previous night that having the fickle vehicle was not worth the trouble, even with Glenn’s limited knowledge of fixing the engine. 

Carol’s eyes immediately found the little radio box she had left on the table. It wouldn’t be any use to her. Even knowing that, Carol still put it in with the pile of things to keep. Maggie saw her do it but didn’t comment in it. The two worked in silence, methodically searching cabinets and trunks to make sure nothing important was left behind. The thought of leaving the farm was strange to Carol still. They had come to the Greene farm in the wake of tragedy. Now the group is leaving without Shane, Dale, Andrea, and Sophia. The farm was great for them, it provided the group with safety, food and a place to grow closer as a family, yet the Greene’s farm had taken just as much as it had given. Carol couldn’t think about it if she wanted to stay sane. 

Glenn popped his head into the Winnebago after about an hour.

“You guys ready?” Maggie and Carol shared a look before Maggie gave her boyfriend an agreement. 

The trio took the pile of supplies from the camper to the back of Rick’s car. The campsite where all the tents had been is clear and people are starting to get in the cars. Ricks and his family were in the pickup truck, Maggie, Glenn, Hershel, and Beth were in Shane’s old car, and Daryl headed up the pack on his motorcycle. Carol did not want to spend time in a car where the other people in the group would expect her to talk. She scanned the vehicles, the faces looking back at her waiting for her choice. Carol just wanted something simple. She didn’t want to think about leaving or having to talk about her feelings. Her nails still had dirt beneath them from Sophia’s grave. She looked at Daryl. He was leaning casually against the bike, not looking at her or anything else in particular. Carol walked over to him. He was looking off, but she saw the muscles in his jaw tighten, alerting her to the fact that he knew she was approaching. Daryl straightened up so that he could swing a leg over his motorcycle. There wasn’t any verbal agreement but Carol took that as an “okay”, so she tried to get on the bike as gracefully as possible. 

“Better hold on tight, woman. I ain’t gonna go slow.” Daryl said gruffly. Carol wrapped her arms around his midsection.

“I didn’t expect you to,” was her reply. She took a second to look back at the farm house and the little graves by it.

“Goodbye, baby.” Carol thought, tears burning at the back of her eyes. She didn’t let them spill out though. She had cried enough as it is. It’s time to move on. Not forget, but continue to live. 

Daryl started up the bike and peeled out of the farm land, the caravan quickly catching up from behind. Carol just closed her eyes and leaned on Daryl’s back. The sound of the motor, like the clicking of a power switch and the thud of boots on dirt, gave her something to focus on. 

\---------

Carol dozed lightly on the back of Daryl’s bike. The passing scenery of trees and abandoned cars paired with the purr of the motor soothed Carol like a mother’s lullaby. She had feared that she would fall from the bike, but Daryl despite his previous statement drove evenly. He was a much better driver than she expected. Her sleep dulled her sense of time and soon Daryl was turning the bike off the main road onto the shoulder. Carol’s head jerked up. The sky had darkened and the air had chilled during her time asleep. 

“Will ya’ let go a’ me, woman?” Daryl groused. 

“Yeah, um, give me a second.” Carol was definitely feeling the ride on her legs, her muscles sour and achy. Daryl turned enough to glare at her over his shoulder. 

“I ain’t got all day,” he mumbled, yet made no move to stand. The other cars pulled up beside them. 

“Stopping here?” Rick yelled through his rolled down window.

“Yeah, it’s gettin’ too dark to drive. Might as well.” Daryl called back still firmly seated on the bike until Carol was ready. A flush stained Carol’s pale cheeks. She hated feeling like a burden. After losing Sophia and the resulting weeks of lying about in grief, Carol was now feeling it all catch up with her. She didn’t want people to treat her differently, it would only remind her of the reason why she got such treatment. In a huff, she jumped up from the motorcycle. Daryl whipped around to look at her. He didn’t expect any sudden movement yet said nothing. It was a constant with him she could rely on, he would watch and protect and say nothing at all. Carol depended on that more than anything, but right now she didn’t want to face it. She just wanted something to occupy her mind. 

The others were stepping out of their cars when Carol walked up to the Grimes’ vehicle. She afforded Lori and Carl a small smile as she pulled out the items to set up camp from their pickup truck. They didn’t usually camp out on roads but Carol could see that the forest beside the road was dense, too thick for scouting out or securing. Setting up on the main road would be safer than trying for the woods. Carol set about building her little tent. 

“Not so little anymore,” she thought numbly, “with Sophia…gone.” Even thinking that last word choked her up. To save herself from more pitying looks and pats on the back, Carol focused on the mechanics of the tent. If the wind hadn’t changed at the last second and Daryl’s scent of dirt, sweat, and old leather hadn’t blown towards her, Carol wouldn’t have noticed his approach. He bent down beside her to help set up the tent framework with her. Carol’s fingers constantly bumped into his in the process of leading the metal wires into the tent’s sleeves. Eventually Daryl just brushed her off so that he could finish it up on his own.

“I can do this myself you know,” Carol said disgruntledly.

“I never said ya’ couldn’t.” Daryl grunted back at her, standing up from his crouched position and brushing dirt off his pants. Carol quickly stood up herself, not wanting to be below him for this conversation. 

“I don’t need help to do this.” Carol kept her voice down so the rest of their small group wouldn’t be alerted to the conversation, but she spoke deliberately, looking at Daryl dead in the eyes despite his discomfort with such intimacy. 

“I ain’t never said ya’ couldn’t, woman. I was just tryin’ to…” Daryl’s voice trailed off., the evening light casting drastic shadows to cross his face, distorting Carol’s perception of him. 

Carol wrapped her arms around her midsection. Daryl’s own discomfort was washing onto her. All she wanted was something simple to focus on, something to keep her hands and mind busy. This here, this man standing in front of her, staring down at his dirty boots but refusing to move was not simple at all. 

“Ya’ shouldn’t be alone.” He mumbled, kicking at the ground. 

“I perfectly fine Daryl. I don’t need you looking out for me, okay?” Carol took a step towards him so he couldn’t avoid her eyes. Daryl glared at her in a way that, had he done it back in the quarry she might have flinched back, but too much had happened between then and now. Now Carol just looked at him. 

“If ya’ ain’t gonna look after ya’self what am I supposed to do? “Daryl spoke softly, eyes firmly trained on hers. What lay in them cut through the fogs that swirled around Carol’s head. 

He is in pain.

An intense moment of clarity hit her like a truck. Daryl had selflessly gone out and searched for Sophia every single day, even getting shot for his trouble. Carol felt broken and empty and when she looked at Daryl she saw that he was too. The others, they all sympathized with Carol. They all wanted to make her forget the pain. Daryl wasn’t trying that. Daryl was wadding through the water beside her, just trying to tether himself to something so that he could survive as well. Carol thought back on his anger in the stables, how he had lashed out at her then. Daryl needed to find Sophia, not just for Carol but for himself. And that failure, that devastating moment Sophia shuffled out of that barn, must have killed him just as much as it killed her. Maybe Daryl needed something to focus on just like she does. Maybe he chose to focus on her. That realization was staggering. 

“Well then, can you help me set up dinner?” Carol asked. Daryl searched her face for a second. He must have been looking for a trick or a trap somewhere in her eyes but all he found was understanding. 

“Yeah.” He replied. Like the flipping of a switch or the thud of boots on dirt or the process of setting up a tent, fixing dinner was a balm for her mind. And when Carol looked over at Daryl, opening cans of preserves and what not, she saw that he was calm too. It wasn’t much, absolutely nothing compared to the loss of her daughter, but Carol could survive with this for now. And it filled her with hope.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this, leave a review if you like :)


End file.
